Matching Events

It’s always heartening to hear how many towns, cities and states are using Matching Events to identify adoptive homes for children in the United States foster care system. A core service of the National Adoption Center, we were one of the very first organizations to utilize this unique recruitment opportunity. These “parties” are a proven way to connect children with prospective adoptive parents. Just this morning I read about a daylong recruitment program in South Carolina called "The Voyage for Permanence for Our Waiting Children," where more than seventy-four potential adoptive families and foster parents, along with almost ninety foster children, came together to answer questions and introduce potential family matches.

While kids played games and ate cotton candy and snow cones, adults had the chance to mingle with representatives from the Division of Social Services, therapists, families who have already adopted and other adoption experts. Speakers and panels, made up of both adults and children, answered questions and eased fears over the process, and what potential adoptive families could expect upon bringing a child into their home permanently.

The National Adoption Center is a renown leader in the adoption field, and will continue to spread the word about Matching Events to more communities across the country.

Online Matching Events — everyone’s invited!

We are known for hosting matching events to assist youth in foster care in finding their forever families. For more than 25 years, these events have been a core service we offer  in the tri-state area of Southeastern Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Delaware. We host match events designed for specifically for the youth we are serving at that time; for example, we have held events for teens only and for sibling groups only.

Until recently, our events have been face to face, providing the opportunity for interaction between youth, families and workers. What we have learned from our experience hosting these events is that everyone is not appropriate to attend (this includes youth and families). Some youth are quiet and reserved and don't take well to the socializing that comes with an event. Some youth are not physically able to attend, like some of the youth we work with who are medically fragile. The term "medically fragile" means that the youth has a disability, is in stable condition, but is dependent on life sustaining medications, treatments, equipment and has need for assistance with activities of daily living. The disabilities may be due to an accident, illness, congenital disorder, abuse or neglect.

 We believe that "there are no unwanted children...just unfound families" and that all children deserve recruitment opportunities. One way that we have been able to include all youth in the match event process is by participating in online match events. Crystal, one of our Adoption Coordinators, recently participated in one of these parties, presenting six youth from her caseload. Via a webinar format, she shared photos, fun facts and personal stories about each youth. One youth who was featured was Rashawn, pictured above.

Rashawn, or Ra Ra as he is affectionately known, is a handsome and rapidly growing teenager. Ra Ra is nonverbal and legally blind but he is good at distinguishing different sounds and can recognize people by their voices. Ra Ra is affectionate, friendly and loves attention. He can be quite charming and is known for getting his way by batting his eyes and smiling.

Ra Ra had a traumatic brain injury as a baby. He requires assistance with daily living tasks such as bathing, feeding, dressing and toileting. Ra Ra resides at a pediatric medical facility and attends a special education school.

Ra Ra uses a wheelchair but he prefers to crawl about on his own. He enjoys pet therapy and especially likes dogs. Ra Ra has a feeding tube but takes most of his meals orally, eating pureed food. While at school, Ra Ra is learning to feed himself using a special spoon.

An ideal family for Rashawn is one with a medical background or an interest in learning how to provide for his medical care. 

To know more about Rashawn, contact Crystal by phone at: 267-443-1867 or by email at: callen@adopt.org.

What's a Match Party Like?

contributed by Abbigail Facey, Program Intern

As the teens enter the room one can feel the excitement building. It takes these thirty young people only a few minutes to gain their composure, survey their surroundings and strike up conversation with neighboring youth; the hum of chatter and laughter quickly begins to fill the room. Amidst this sea of budding friendships, prospective parents and adoptive families offer nervous smiles, and firm handshakes, as they attempt to begin conversation with these lively young people.

“For some prospective parents, this is the first time they have attended a Match Party,” explains Crystal, an adoption coordinator with NAC. “While they are excited to finally meet face-to-face with children, versus reading their bio or viewing their picture—there is a certain level of anxiety that each family faces.”

NAC – which expands adoption opportunities for children living in foster care – has led the way for 25 years in facilitating matching events, designed to introduce prospective parents to older youth who hope to be adopted. By focusing on teenagers, NAC’s goal is to eliminate the sense of competition often present between older youth and younger children at typical matching events.  

“When children of all ages attend match parties, families tend to  inquire more about the younger kids, those under 10,” says Sheina, an adoption coordinator at NAC. “That wasn’t fair to the older kids.” 

For Sheina, the best part about the Teen Match Parties “is seeing families who originally were interested only in children under 8 years old, having great conversation with a 12 year old and completely change their outlook.”

At these parties, the youth spend quality time with their peers who face similar challenges; they are able to express their feelings and show their personalities in a safe and supportive environment. Myenisha, a child who attended a Match Party, said “You get to meet families and other kids in the same situation.” This connection helps children understand that, while they may be experiencing significant transitions within their lives, they are not alone.  “The children tend to be relaxed at the event because they have been prepared by their Case Manager or Adoption Recruiter,” says Crystal.  “We let them know that they always have support and are not alone.”

NAC’s latest Match Party this past Fall was at The Funplex in East Hanover, New Jersey. After having created 14 similar parties with her team over the past three years, Allen said “We have it down to a science.  We were initially worried about there being too many distractions for the kids at the event, but it worked out really well.”

One way NAC's staff prepares teenagers for the Adoption Party event is through two pre-party events, led by a motivational group facilitator. These events assist teens in becoming more comfortable and confident about moving forward with the Match Party.

The process of finding qualified prospective adoptive parents poses a greater challenge for NAC—unfortunately, a smaller percentage of prospective families consider adopting older children. Even with the realities of a smaller pool of families interested in teens, NAC has a long and successful history of success.  These are teens who might still be lingering in the foster care system alone, who instead successfully found a forever family. 

 “The hard work put into the event is well the worth the effort,” Sheina said. “The entire office does a lot to prepare for the event—the paper work, the calls made for monetary donations is all worthwhile to see parents and kids engaged in conversation. The ultimate goal of our efforts is to create a match between prospective parents and children.”

That effort does not go unnoticed by the children attending the event. Thalia who attended described the party as, “awesome… because there’s a lot of people who care about you.”

As NAC approaches its 40^th year anniversary, Thalia can be sure that those who care about her and her story will continue to work toward finding the perfect home for her and others who need someone to make a difference in the way they grow up.  

Responding to Match Party Comments

The following was written by Chris Jacobs our Program Director.

I would like to respond with some facts about National Adoption Center match parties. The children and teens who attend do know that they are coming to an event to meet families. The Center believes that not every child or teen is appropriate to attend a match party and no child/teen should be forced to attend. Children are prepared by their social workers to know what to expect, or in the case of our teens-only events, two preparation meetings are held with the teens before the match party to go over the agenda for the day, and address any concerns or questions they have.   

Of course, meeting families face-to-face is exciting and can also be scary---for the youth and for the families!    Center staff also meet with the families before each party to once again go over the agenda for the day and to coach them (because they are also nervous) about being sensitive to the youth, respecting their privacy and using this as an opportunity to interact and share what they have in common. The staff also provides some do’s and don’ts (no pictures taken with their cell phones, no promises made to youth, no discussion of adoption.)

The Center believes that the youth must have a voice in their own recruitment and our parties are planned to be “no pressure,” fun for the youth and always respectful of their feelings and privacy. There will inevitably be youth who attend for whom families do not request additional information. However, a match party is just one strategy their social worker can use to find them a family. The Center encourages the social worker to  discuss with the child, after the party, the child’s reaction to the experience.

It has been the experience of the National Adoption Center and other organizations that have sponsored such parties, that if the events are orchestrated with sensitivity and the children are prepared well before and talk with their social workers afterward, the experience will be a positive one for the child. As one enthusiastic social worker said, “In a perfect world, we would not need adoption parties.” The reality is that nearly 120,000 children around the country are yearning for permanent families. Attending such events increases their chances dramatically.”

Adoptive Parent on Match Party

This past Saturday, we hosted a Matching Event at Brunswick Lanes in New Jersey. There were thirty-five children and youth in attendance and almost all received at least one inquiry. Here’s just one piece of feedback we received from a prospective parent:

I would like to thank you and the dedicated staff that collaborated on the Match Party on Saturday for a very memorable experience and opportunity. The event was eye opening in so many ways. The children were beautiful, charming and funny. Those pictures on the website do no justice to their beauty. I was familiar with some of the children from the website and the profile book. I have been busy searching for our "sons" and it was funny seeing them in person. It could somehow be related to meeting celebrities. They came alive and became ever so real. Their personalities were amazing; they were open about their wish for a family; shared their goals and favorite foods and other things; and made us feel comfortable with their laughter and jokes. To be honest, I did not want it to end. We fell in love with so many of the children we encountered. My husband is now praying we hit the lottery, so we can build a bigger home to fill up with children.

This is why we do these events, to have a guided interaction between the youths and adults so they can relax, have fun and get to know each other. We know once these groups meet that some matches will be made that day and hopefully a good percentage of these matches will result in placements. We also know that we are making the prospect of meeting more families and being adopted a bit less scary for the youth. After all, this day wasn't so bad, right? The youth also see that there are people out there interested in adopting older children, a message they may not have gotten enough. For adoptive parents the road can be long and intrusive and by having actual youth in front of them they can re-energize to make it through the last parts of the process to make their adoption dream a reality.

Watch here for announcements about our next Matching Events, you only need to be a homestudied family who wishes to adopt to attend.

Teen Matching Event

Pennsylvania has some amazing teenagers who you may want to meet. Yes, there are teens who still long for a permanent adoptive family. On April 10, 2010 the National Adoption Center will host a Teen Matching Event. Several of Pennsylvania’s waiting teenagers will come together with families who are approved to adopt a teen. They will share an afternoon of fun, food and hopefully some new lasting connections.

We hosted two similar events last year. Teens, prospective parents and social workers alike enjoyed the day. And best of all, some new families were formed as a result of the events.

This year our event will be held in Lancaster, PA. We welcome you to join us if you have an approved home study and are interested in adopting a teen! Click here to view the invitation.

The Teen Matching Events have been made possible through the generous funding of the Pennsylvania Statewide Adoption and Permanency Network (SWAN).

For more information or to register, please contact Julie Marks, Teen Project Manager, at 215-735-9988 x367 or at pateen@adopt.org Or register online here.