Working My First Match Party

written by Katie, our Development Manager, and now fully-initiated NAC co-worker

Last week I attended my first match party hosted by the National Adoption Center. Going into it, I wasn’t sure what to expect. All I knew was that match parties put youth seeking adoptive families and adults approved to adopt together in a pressure-free setting, in hopes that some “magic” will happen; that a family will form.

The match party was held at Arnold’s Family Fun Center in Oaks, PA – a giant warehouse-like building that boasts go-karts, laser tag, an arcade and bowling…in short, a kid’s dream world. This party was designed for older youth and teens, an age group that is often overlooked in the rush for babies and younger children.

Amid games of ski-ball and bumper car rides, I watched how the youth and prospective adoptive families interacted. I saw one couple in particular who really connected with two teens. They spent the entire day together – the wife and a girl of about 14 sporting ear-to-ear smiles while in line for laser tag and the husband battling it out on a seemingly never-ending video game with a boy who looked about 13. At the end of the party it was clear they had made an impact on one another. Pulling out of Arnold’s at the end of the day, I wondered if these sparks would catch; if I had witnessed the making of a family.

What's a Match Party Like?

contributed by Abbigail Facey, Program Intern

As the teens enter the room one can feel the excitement building. It takes these thirty young people only a few minutes to gain their composure, survey their surroundings and strike up conversation with neighboring youth; the hum of chatter and laughter quickly begins to fill the room. Amidst this sea of budding friendships, prospective parents and adoptive families offer nervous smiles, and firm handshakes, as they attempt to begin conversation with these lively young people.

“For some prospective parents, this is the first time they have attended a Match Party,” explains Crystal, an adoption coordinator with NAC. “While they are excited to finally meet face-to-face with children, versus reading their bio or viewing their picture—there is a certain level of anxiety that each family faces.”

NAC – which expands adoption opportunities for children living in foster care – has led the way for 25 years in facilitating matching events, designed to introduce prospective parents to older youth who hope to be adopted. By focusing on teenagers, NAC’s goal is to eliminate the sense of competition often present between older youth and younger children at typical matching events.  

“When children of all ages attend match parties, families tend to  inquire more about the younger kids, those under 10,” says Sheina, an adoption coordinator at NAC. “That wasn’t fair to the older kids.” 

For Sheina, the best part about the Teen Match Parties “is seeing families who originally were interested only in children under 8 years old, having great conversation with a 12 year old and completely change their outlook.”

At these parties, the youth spend quality time with their peers who face similar challenges; they are able to express their feelings and show their personalities in a safe and supportive environment. Myenisha, a child who attended a Match Party, said “You get to meet families and other kids in the same situation.” This connection helps children understand that, while they may be experiencing significant transitions within their lives, they are not alone.  “The children tend to be relaxed at the event because they have been prepared by their Case Manager or Adoption Recruiter,” says Crystal.  “We let them know that they always have support and are not alone.”

NAC’s latest Match Party this past Fall was at The Funplex in East Hanover, New Jersey. After having created 14 similar parties with her team over the past three years, Allen said “We have it down to a science.  We were initially worried about there being too many distractions for the kids at the event, but it worked out really well.”

One way NAC's staff prepares teenagers for the Adoption Party event is through two pre-party events, led by a motivational group facilitator. These events assist teens in becoming more comfortable and confident about moving forward with the Match Party.

The process of finding qualified prospective adoptive parents poses a greater challenge for NAC—unfortunately, a smaller percentage of prospective families consider adopting older children. Even with the realities of a smaller pool of families interested in teens, NAC has a long and successful history of success.  These are teens who might still be lingering in the foster care system alone, who instead successfully found a forever family. 

 “The hard work put into the event is well the worth the effort,” Sheina said. “The entire office does a lot to prepare for the event—the paper work, the calls made for monetary donations is all worthwhile to see parents and kids engaged in conversation. The ultimate goal of our efforts is to create a match between prospective parents and children.”

That effort does not go unnoticed by the children attending the event. Thalia who attended described the party as, “awesome… because there’s a lot of people who care about you.”

As NAC approaches its 40^th year anniversary, Thalia can be sure that those who care about her and her story will continue to work toward finding the perfect home for her and others who need someone to make a difference in the way they grow up.  

Match Party Fever

On Wednesday we told you a bit about the match parties which have already occurred this past month or so. Well tonight NAC staff is gearing up for another one, to be held tomorrow in Philadelphia. Last count I heard was that we'll have about 81 children and youths and about 40 families. To make an event like this work requires much, well, work.

For a few months now program staffers and interns have been coming up with a theme, finding the event location, making up brochures and recruiting families, children and youths. It's like party planning taken to the n-th degree as there is a very important motivation and process at the core of the event -- fostering meaningful interaction. (and making it fun!) We want connections to be formed that can be developed and explored in the coming weeks. From these connections, ideally some families will form.

We also realize and are excited that some other types of connections will occur. Like the support families can find from one another in our online adoption community, families get to interact with each other. I've heard the kind words exchanged, the "I've been there too" reassurances and the phone numbers exchanged by parents who have found strength with people in the same situation. The children and youths also have similar connections. It may be siblings who don't live together, but get to spend a few hours having fun together. Or members of our Youth Advisory Board who, while also there to find familial connections, are serving as leaders for the other children. Often these youths are not given the chance to be leaders, but through this event they are encouraged to take on that role.

So wish us success and we'll up date you next week on how it goes! Have a wonderful weekend everyone.

Match Party in the News!

This Wednesday the Philadelphia Inquirer published an article about our most recent Teen Match Party. To read the article, click here. The article not only covers the day's events, but also probes the reasons why those who were there participated.

One story which touched me was about a couple with a college-aged child who felt they wanted to help more children, but didn't want to change diapers. Adopting a teen is perfect for them, allowing them to contribute while not putting them through challenges they do not feel prepared to handle.

We also have a few match parties coming up, so look on our website for more information regarding those. They will be held in Pittsburgh and in the Delaware Valley region in the upcoming months.

Accompanying the story online is a poll regarding adoption. At this point in time, 67% state that they would be interested in adopting a teen or child. Another 7% would adopt a child. Remember we at the National Adoption Center are here for you. You can view our resources online: we offer information, via our online course and reference materials; support via our social network; and referrals, online or call us at: 1-800-TO-ADOPT.

Match Party

This weekend we held a Match Party in Delaware. From the smiles on the faces of the children and the prospective families, I think it was a successful party. If you are not familiar with the concept, you may wonder what is a Match Party?

A Match Party, sometimes called an adoption party, is a carefully planned event designed to bring together children who are waiting to be adopted with families interested in adopting them. In this case, this means only families who have been approved to adopt.

The theme of this Match Party was a carnival and was held on a college campus, outdoors with a large-protected lawn . We had games for the children to play with the assistance of the prospective parents. The games were not only to have fun with, but to also facilitate interaction between the children and adults, helping them to get to know each other.

We believe that no one comes forth to adopt the waiting children, almost all of whom live in foster care, unless they know about their existence. But even more important than that, says Toni Oliver, the executive director of Roots, an adoption agency in Atlanta, is the chance to meet the children. “It’s a powerful thing when people can see the children, see that they’re like any other child. Potential adoptive parents can see beyond the labels, the diagnosis and the case histories that mask who the children really are. Then they can say, ‘Maybe I could do that…adopt one of them.’ ”

Meredith and her husband, Fred, who attended a past Match Party said, “Meeting the children personally took away our fears. We saw that they are just children, like any other, and that they need parents like all children do.”

In addition to providing an opportunity to connect with a potential family, the children just enjoyed a day of play out in the fresh air. The day was focused on them and gave them the chance to meet other children who are waiting to be adopted. We even had some sibling groups who are now residing in separate homes reunited for the day and encouraged to play together and talk!

We'll keep you posted on any matches made. We also have a sibling-only event in New Jersey at the end of October. Get in touch if you'd like to be registered for that event.