The Difference of Being Affected vs. Being Impacted

From Monday, May 13^th through Wednesday, May 15^th, I had the pleasure of attending the Wendy’s Wonderful Kids Summit. Wendy’s Wonderful Kids is the signature program of the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, an Ohio based organization whose goal is to implement proactive, child-focused recruitment programs targeted exclusively on moving America’s longest-waiting children from foster care into adoptive families (DTFA).

Attending the Summit is nothing new for me as I have been a Wendy’s Wonderful Kids Recruiter for 4 years and 9 months. In the months leading up to the Summit, I was at my usual level of excitement. I wondered which recruiters from around the country and Canada I would see again, who had exciting adoption stories to tell, and who would our speakers and panelists be. About two weeks before the Summit, my DTFA Grant Manager sent an email out with the agenda. I quickly browsed through, but at the end of the agenda, something caught my eye.

                       

Keynote: Saved by adoptionShawn Hessee, Rolling Through Adversity – Confined to a wheelchair with cerebral palsy, Shawn, considered unadoptable, was adopted by his preschool teacher.

This keynote topic spoke to me, so much that I immediately emailed my grant manager to thank her for including Shawn in the Summit. To provide some background on why I was so excited to hear from Shawn, I will share a little about the youth on my caseload.

I serve a caseload of 10 youth—8 boys and 2 girls. Of the 10, 5 are considered medically fragile, 2 have autism and 1 has Down syndrome. Most of them at one time or another has been considered unadoptable. Recruitment for them has not been easy, and despite feeling personally defeated on their behalf, I know that I must continue on in the search for their forever families.

Fast forward from the time my grant manager sent the email to May 15^th. I have just experienced two days of powerful presenters—doctors, child welfare specialists, recruiters and youth who have aged out of care—all people who have been affected by foster care and/or adoption. Finally it was time to hear Shawn’s story. I already knew Shawn’s story would hit home with me, but I do not think I could have imagined the impact he would have on me, my kids, and my work in adoption recruitment.

Wearing a stylish suit and an award winning smile, Shawn commanded the audience from the start of his presentation. He shared his story from birth to present day. Sharing his ups and his downs, his victories and losses, he spoke about his families (biological, foster and adoptive), his passion for wrestling, his work history and his current profession. When Shawn was young, he wanted to wrestle, so the coach gave him a chance. Shawn was expected to work out and train just as the other wrestlers, despite having leg braces. He trained hard and prepared for his first match, which unfortunately he lost. He would actually go on to lose all of his matches, completing his high school career at 0-80. He remarked that as a society, we live in a world that tends to value wins over losses. Looking in from the outside, Shawn is by no means a loser. He is an inspiration.

He left the audience with the message that his mission is to help children embrace the challenges they face. As he wound down his speech, tears began to flow from my face. He provided us with an hour of inspirational words to last a lifetime. After his presentation, I stood in front of the entire audience and with tears flowing even harder now, thanked Shawn for sharing his story. He too makes me want to help children embrace their challenges and succeed in life.

After the presentation, I asked Shawn if I could give him a hug. He smiled, let me know that he loved hugs, and we embraced. Although I had just met him, I felt like I knew him forever. I quickly asked if I could remain in touch, as I knew I’d have my days where I felt as if I was failing, and could use his words of encouragement. Again he smiled, and let me know that I could reach out to him for support anytime. And I think he truly meant it, as we exchanged information and are now Facebook friends and follow each other on  Twitter.

Even as I write this, I can’t help but to tear up again. Not because I am sad, but because I know the potential that my children have and know that they have a “wonderful” role model in Shawn. He has truly made an impact on me.

With Help From Our Friends

We were pleased to have been selected as the beneficiary of proceeds realized from the 2nd Annual Charity Softball Tournament sponsored by Chubb Group of Insurance Companies - Philadelphia Branch. The event, held last Thursday at the Camden River Sharks Stadium, also included teams from the following agencies: Conner Strong & Buckelew; ECBM LP; Johnson, Kendall & Johnson; Altus Partners and NSM Insurance Group. CHUBB’s team won the day, congratulations to them!

We’d also like to thank Chubb for a $10,000 match challenge at our Celebration of Family Gala held in April. "Chubb has been a valued supporter of the Center," says Ken Mullner, the Center's executive director, " and has been a recipient of its Champion of Adoption award for its outstanding benefits program for employees. We especially appreciate the dedication and contributions of Bryce Graham, Chubb's vice president and marketing manager." Graham is a Center board member. Kelly O’Leary, the Pennsylvania Regional Branch Manager was also instrumental in making all of this happen.

Bryce Graham (left) and Ken Mullner

LGBT Adoption

Last week, the United States Supreme Court Supreme Court considered the Defense of Marriage Act and California’s same-sex marriage statute. “If you redefine marriage to include same-sex couples,” Justice Anton Scalia said, “you must permit adoption by same-sex couples. There’s considerable disagreement among sociologists as to what the consequences of raising a child in a single-sex family, whether that is harmful to the child or not.” 

Actually, though there are some dissenters who say that research is not definitive — and some states block gay couples form jointly adopting children — there’s a broad consensus among major medical, psychological and child-welfare organizations that children raised by gay and lesbian parents fare just as well as those raised by straight parents. Scalia’s comments angered many gay-rights activists, including attorney Camilla Taylor of Lambda Legal, who called them “dishonest and disingenuous” for disregarding the consensus among child-welfare professionals. So exactly where is this so-called research Justice Scalia is referring to?

Federal Policy

Voice for Adoption, of which the National Adoption Center is a founding member, is a membership advocacy organization that speaks out for our nation’s 104,000 waiting children in foster care, and the families that adopt children with special needs. VFA is committed to ensuring federal policies and funding match the ongoing needs of these children and their adoptive families. On February 27, VFA provided testimony to the United States House Committee on Ways and Means, Subcommittee on Human Resources and focused on four key areas:

1. The rate of adoption from foster care is increasing, but the adoption of older youth continues to be a struggle for States.

2. Youth who “age-out” are a vulnerable population and more must be done to secure permanency for these youth before exiting foster care.

3. Adoption experts—both professionals and families alike—identify post-adoption services as a critical need to support families, but a lack of resources to support these efforts is still a challenge.

4. State accountability for the use of federal adoption funding should be reviewed to ensure that reinvestment into supporting adopted children and their families’ is happening as required by law.

We will continue to be a vocal proponent to insure that our federal government addresses each of these concerns.

Revelations

shared by Michelle, who's last day of interning with us is today...

I've known her since nearly the day I was born. She has remained a force in my life the years thereafter. Over the years, we had shared every aspect of our lives with each other. Well that’s what I thought.

I came to town to visit and we were spending a rainy night at the theater, as we have many times before. On the drive there we talked about our lives, as we have many times before. I told her about my experience working at the National Adoption Center and about some children living in foster care that I had the opportunity to meet. At that moment there was a silence in the car. I had no idea that what I said would turn into a conversation that would change the way I perceived her.

She’s the daughter of a close relative. But when her parents could no longer take care of her, she was put into foster care, moving from house to house for six years. She cried on my shoulder as she was telling me. I wished my embrace could take those years away, take the pain away. She remembered everything like it was yesterday. She knew what it felt like to feel unwanted, craving nothing but stability. This was her life, until other relatives of mine took her in. They adopted her and gave her the home she had always wanted.

I always thought that she was amazing. But after hearing her story and the triumph that she’s made, she’s so much stronger than she even realizes. I hope she remembers where she came from and looks at where she is now. Adoption changed her story. It makes me even more proud to say that I work for the National Adoption Center. To say that I may have had a hand in helping a child find a forever family.

Businesses in Historic Old City Philadelphia Help Foster Children Looking to be Adopted

For years we have teamed up with KYW Newsradio to air a program called Wednesday’s Child, hosted by broadcast journalist Larry Kane. Larry, who has been a friend to NAC for more than 25 years, asks the children about themselves and why it is important to them to be adopted. These special interviews are featured on the radio every Wednesday, multiple times a day, with the goal of finding permanent loving homes for these children.

The children who now live in foster care, come to Philadelphia to be taped for the interview, many come from significant distances. NAC has been asking for donations from businesses in Old City Philadelphia, where KYW's studio is located, in an effort to make the day memorable for the children.

We met one of our most enthusiastic partners in this effort last month. Evan Sharps, owner of Old City T-Shirts , is a man who knows all about creating an experience to remember. When Evan heard about the different types of children we work with - the importance of finding them a family, and the joy it would bring to give them a day filled with fun memories, he was quick to hop on board.

Evan has graciously committed to offering every child involved in KYW Newsradio’s Wednesday’s Child program an opportunity to make a custom designed t-shirt in his souvenir shop. Evan’s charming shop is unlike any other. Customers get the chance to choose from a colorful selection of shirts, pick out their own design, and watch their t-shirt instantly come together.

We cannot thank business owners like Evan enough for helping us create a fun and exciting experience for the children who count on us to help find them families.

Spread the support and drop into Old City T-Shirts to see what the hype’s all about!

If you are interested in donating to the National Adoption Center’s Philly Fun Package, contact Beth at: bvogel@adopt.org

Foster Parenting: a Job or a Calling?

Foster parents would be considered public employees allowed to form, join and participate in unions under a bill introduced in Oregon. State Senator Chip Shields introduced a similar bill in 2009 that failed to make it out of committee. According to Shields, “The impetus is How do we help foster parents to be seen as a vital part of the social services safety net?”. More than 8,000 Oregon children are in foster care. This begs the question: Is foster parenting a job, or a calling?