The Difference of Being Affected vs. Being Impacted

From Monday, May 13^th through Wednesday, May 15^th, I had the pleasure of attending the Wendy’s Wonderful Kids Summit. Wendy’s Wonderful Kids is the signature program of the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, an Ohio based organization whose goal is to implement proactive, child-focused recruitment programs targeted exclusively on moving America’s longest-waiting children from foster care into adoptive families (DTFA).

Attending the Summit is nothing new for me as I have been a Wendy’s Wonderful Kids Recruiter for 4 years and 9 months. In the months leading up to the Summit, I was at my usual level of excitement. I wondered which recruiters from around the country and Canada I would see again, who had exciting adoption stories to tell, and who would our speakers and panelists be. About two weeks before the Summit, my DTFA Grant Manager sent an email out with the agenda. I quickly browsed through, but at the end of the agenda, something caught my eye.

                       

Keynote: Saved by adoptionShawn Hessee, Rolling Through Adversity – Confined to a wheelchair with cerebral palsy, Shawn, considered unadoptable, was adopted by his preschool teacher.

This keynote topic spoke to me, so much that I immediately emailed my grant manager to thank her for including Shawn in the Summit. To provide some background on why I was so excited to hear from Shawn, I will share a little about the youth on my caseload.

I serve a caseload of 10 youth—8 boys and 2 girls. Of the 10, 5 are considered medically fragile, 2 have autism and 1 has Down syndrome. Most of them at one time or another has been considered unadoptable. Recruitment for them has not been easy, and despite feeling personally defeated on their behalf, I know that I must continue on in the search for their forever families.

Fast forward from the time my grant manager sent the email to May 15^th. I have just experienced two days of powerful presenters—doctors, child welfare specialists, recruiters and youth who have aged out of care—all people who have been affected by foster care and/or adoption. Finally it was time to hear Shawn’s story. I already knew Shawn’s story would hit home with me, but I do not think I could have imagined the impact he would have on me, my kids, and my work in adoption recruitment.

Wearing a stylish suit and an award winning smile, Shawn commanded the audience from the start of his presentation. He shared his story from birth to present day. Sharing his ups and his downs, his victories and losses, he spoke about his families (biological, foster and adoptive), his passion for wrestling, his work history and his current profession. When Shawn was young, he wanted to wrestle, so the coach gave him a chance. Shawn was expected to work out and train just as the other wrestlers, despite having leg braces. He trained hard and prepared for his first match, which unfortunately he lost. He would actually go on to lose all of his matches, completing his high school career at 0-80. He remarked that as a society, we live in a world that tends to value wins over losses. Looking in from the outside, Shawn is by no means a loser. He is an inspiration.

He left the audience with the message that his mission is to help children embrace the challenges they face. As he wound down his speech, tears began to flow from my face. He provided us with an hour of inspirational words to last a lifetime. After his presentation, I stood in front of the entire audience and with tears flowing even harder now, thanked Shawn for sharing his story. He too makes me want to help children embrace their challenges and succeed in life.

After the presentation, I asked Shawn if I could give him a hug. He smiled, let me know that he loved hugs, and we embraced. Although I had just met him, I felt like I knew him forever. I quickly asked if I could remain in touch, as I knew I’d have my days where I felt as if I was failing, and could use his words of encouragement. Again he smiled, and let me know that I could reach out to him for support anytime. And I think he truly meant it, as we exchanged information and are now Facebook friends and follow each other on  Twitter.

Even as I write this, I can’t help but to tear up again. Not because I am sad, but because I know the potential that my children have and know that they have a “wonderful” role model in Shawn. He has truly made an impact on me.

Importance of Recruitment

The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption released a new report outlining their 5-year rigorous, evidence-based evaluation and research, about their Wendy’s Wonderful Kids program (a child-focused recruitment model). DTFA's signature program, Wendy's Wonderful Kids (WWK), provides local adoption agencies (including us at the National Adoption Center) with grants to hire dedicated adoption recruiters who spend 100 percent of their job focused on finding waiting children forever homes. 

The report highlights that children in foster care who are served by the WWK recruitment program are 1.7 times more likely to be adopted than those not served by WWK. The research also highlights the impact of the WWK model is greatest among children who are older or those who have mental health disorders; a population of youth that have traditionally waited the longest for adoption or that are least likely to achieve adoption. The research, which was conducted by Child Trends, documents much-needed information about practices and policies that improve the likelihood of adoption for children in foster care.

Extreme Recruitment

I read an interesting piece in this month’s Time Magazine entitled Foster Care: Extreme Edition. It described in detail the unique family-finding efforts employed by a Missouri agency to identify permanent homes for their hardest-to-place children and youth. Using private investigators, they track down as many family members as possible in hopes that one will step up to adopt.

Extreme Recruitment is in fact very similar to Wendy’s Wonderful Kids, an innovative program that has been in place for the past seven years. The National Adoption Center’s own staff of Wendy’s Wonderful Kids recruiters employs the same tactics in hopes of finding “long-lost” relatives to provide permanency. Our success rate is excellent (~40%) and we are most proud of our association with the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption and Wendy’s restaurants. It certainly gives credence to our motto – There are no unwanted children, just unfound families.

Thanks to a Special Sponsor - Wendy's

The National Adoption Center relies on contributions from the public and private sector to do its critically important work.  One of our best partners is Wendy’s. Following in Dave Thomas’ tradition, this month Wendy’s not only continues its customary fundraising efforts but also gathers it employees to conduct a holiday gift drive for kids in foster care in the tri-state Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Delaware region. So many children and youth will have a brighter holiday season thanks to generous partners like Wendy’s. We hope you will frequent them this month and throughout the year, and thank them for their generous support.

A Home for the Holidays

Happy Friday Everyone!

I wanted to share a story with you that truly touches my heart and inspires the true meaning of Christmas. Today I attended a team meeting for a teen on my caseload. This teen (whom I will refer to as “Charles”) does not have a family to call his own. What he does have is a support staff that cares for him, and a special friend (whom I will refer to as “Matthew”). Charles and Matthew are in similar situations; both are teenagers in foster care, both were previously living in the same residential placement, but Matthew recently moved into a foster home. Knowing that Charles would not have a family to spend the holidays with, Matthew asked his foster parents if Charles could spend Christmas day with his new foster family. Matthew was so heartfelt and sincere with his request, that his foster parents agreed to have Charles be their guest for the day. Both boys are excited because they will have a home for the holiday.

A Home for the Holidays is presented by the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption and Children's Action Network, and sponsored by Wendy's. Now in its 11th year, the special will feature Faith Hill and include performances by Shakira, Reba McEntire and Carrie Underwood. Nia Vardolos and Jenna Elfman are among the celebrities who will present inspirational stories of extraordinary families formed through foster care adoption.

Please tune in to watch this special event and consider opening up your home, not just for the holidays, but everyday, by adopting a child from foster care.

Wendy's Wonderful Kids Spotlight – Jowelle

This Friday, I wanted to highlight one of my favorite Wendy’s Wonderful Kids, Jowelle. It is always a pleasure to visit Jowelle each month and get caught up on the latest news about her friends, school life, and what is going on in her foster home. A typical 12-year-old, she enjoys music, movies, playing on the computer, and hanging out with friends. Jowelle is one of the most athletic girls I have worked with. She is on her school’s field hockey team, and hopes to also be on the basketball and softball teams later this year. I was able to go to one of Jowelle’s field hockey games, and got to see her in action (her team won of course)!

Jowelle has big dreams about her future. She thinks she will become a lawyer one day, because she is good at winning arguments! Jowelle is working hard to be on the honor roll this year, and so far it looks like she might be able to reach this goal.

Jowelle is looking forward to being adopted. She has no preferences about her future family’s race, religion, or composition, just as long as they are "young, active, and nice"! She imagines herself going shopping and to the movies with her Forever Family. She is also looking forward to celebrating holidays together, and being a normal family.

If you would like to find out more information about Jowelle, or any of the Wendy’s Wonderful Kids of Delaware, please feel free to contact me. I can be reached at 215-735-9988 ext. 319 or by email at acressman@adopt.org. Have a great weekend!

WWK Spotlight

Meet the newest addition to Wendy’s Wonderful Kids in Delaware, Na’Heim! I had a great time hanging out with Na’Heim at our first visit. He was outgoing and friendly with me right from the start! Na’Heim was eager to show off what a talented artist he is. He loves writing his name in bubbles letters, and can draw any animal you ask him too! He is an expert at games like Sorry and Uno, and has a very competitive nature. We played several rounds of Uno and Tic Tac Toe, and he concentrated very hard to win! Na’Heim is a big sports fan, and thinks that football is his best sport. He is always up for a game of football or his second favorite sport, basketball.

Na’Heim is an adorable boy with so much energy. He has been through a lot in his short life, and is receiving services to deal with the trauma that he has faced. Na’Heim needs a stable family that will provide loving role models and give Na'Heim an opportunity to excel. Na’Heim says that he would like a fun family who is always willing to play with him and have good food at dinner time! He also would like to have pets in his home that he can take feed and take care of.

The Wendy’s Wonderful Kid’s program is the signature program of the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. Since the Delaware program launched on January 1, 2005, we’ve had 33 finalizations and there are 9 children currently matched and placed with their future forever families! If you would like more information on Na’Heim or on the Wendy’s Wonderful Kid’s Program, please contact me at acressman@adopt.org, or at 215-735-9988 x319.

Adopted Celebrities

With the begining of the football season, there comes to light another example of a family providing the love and permanance for a child not born into the family. Jeremy Maclin was the number one 2009 draft pick for the Philadelphia Eagles. This Missouri native was informally adopted and raised by his coach and his family. The coach realized that when he'd drop Jeremy off at home after practice that he'd not go in, later he realized why. Eventually Jeremy moved in with the coach's family. Now he considers himself to have two families. While not the formal adoption we advocate for here at the Center, this is another example of how you can make a difference in a child's or teen's life. Obviously Jeremy got the support and encouragement to help him guide his natural talent into a rising (and as an Eagles supporter, we hope very successful) career.

Among the other people whose lives have been changed by adoption are some well-known names. Here are just handful of the notables.
Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy’s is probably one of the most famous adoptees. He never knew his birth mother, and was adopted by a couple from Kalamazoo, Michigan, at the age of six months. Thomas's adoptive mother died when he was only five, and by the time he was 10, he had lost two stepmothers as well. He founded the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, whose mission is to “dramatically increase the number of adoptions of waiting children from North America's foster care systems.” Through its “Wendy’s Wonderful Kids” program, it works diligently to move children from foster care into permanent, loving adoptive homes.

Darryl McDaniels, A founding member of Run D.M.C. While researching his early years to write his autobiography, he was shocked to learn that he had been adopted when he was three months old. Even as a child, he knew that he did not look like the rest of his family and now he understood why. The news inspired him to search for his birth mother. A documentary chronicling his quest aired on the VH1 network in February 2006. The program ends with McDaniels reuniting with his birth mother. He thanks her for her choice because had he not been placed for adoption, Run-D.M.C. would have never existed. In September 2006, he received the Congressional Angels in Adoption Award for his work with children in foster care and promotion of adoption.

Melissa Gilbert, actress. Best known for her role as Laura Ingalls on Little House on the Prairie, she was adopted the day after she was born by actor and comedian Paul Gilbert and his actress wife, Barbara. The couple later adopted a son, Jonathan, who appeared with Melissa on the show.

Faith Hill, singer and songwriter was adopted along with her two brothers when she was only a week old, she grew up in a small town in Mississippi.

Marilyn Monroe, never knew her father, and at age seven after her mother was too ill to take care of her, she was placed in foster care. In 1937, a family friend and her husband took her in.

Lynnette Cole, Miss USA 2000 Of Puerto-Rican Heritage, she was placed in foster care as an infant. When she was 10 months old, she and her brother were adopted by a white couple who move to Tennessee in order to adopt the children, because of a law prohibiting adoption of children from a different race where they had lived before. Her adoptive parents had previously been foster parents to a succession of over 100 children.

Scott Hamilton, Olympic champion figure skater, was adopted at six weeks of age by two university professors, joining an older born-to daughter. Later his family adopted another son.

Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple computers, Born in San Francisco, he was adopted by a couple in Santa Clara County.

Home for the Holidays

We wanted to highlight the efforts of the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, an organization that supports foster children year-round. The organization’s namesake founder was an adoptee himself who, though his success with the Wendy’s corporation, built the foundation upon the principle of “Do what's best for the child.” The foundation has accomplished this goal repeatedly with the Wendy’s Wonderful Kids program, which finds permanent homes for foster children through fundraising and advocacy, with the goal of finding adoptive families for 8,000 - 10,000 children by 2010. Thus far, 2,600 children in the U.S. foster care system have been matched with families who can provide a permanent home.

The holiday season is often the hardest time of year for children who have either lost or never had a loving family. To celebrate those children who have found adoptive families, while at the same time drawing attention to those who remain in foster care, the Dave Thomas Foundation is once again airing A Home for the Holidays on December 23. This program, which can be seen on CBS, features celebrities such as this year’s Faith Hill, who draw attention to the needs of children in foster care. The program also highlights children and their adoptive families, allowing them to share their success stories with viewers.

The media’s portrayal of adoption too often reflects high-profile celebrity adoptions of international children. This program provides a stage for the thousands of overlooked foster children in this country to be seen. Tune in on Tuesday, December 23 8:00 - 9:00 EST/PST to celebrate these children and find out how you can help.