The Bullying Problem

this post contributed by our intern, Malini Ragoopath

Children can sometimes be cruel to one another; especially to other children who are different in any way. Sexual orientation, physical appearance, family income status, and even being adopted are just some of the reasons children may be bullied by their peers. This behavior is detrimental to children’s self esteem and confidence and can lead to fatal consequences.

The recent suicide of Jamey Rodemeyer, a 14-year old teen from Williamsville, NY who committed suicide this past week, is a disturbing wake up call to a problem that has been on a steady rise over the last few years. Rodemeyer had been bullied about his sexual orientation by his classmates for sometime, but was determined to overcome it and help other troubled teens in the process. Jamey became well known after posting an inspirational video on YouTube for other bullied children as part of the “It Gets Better” campaign.

We all know that no two people have exactly the same experiences or life stories and understand that being different should be embraced and not ridiculed. We all come from different walks of life and have unique stories that enhance our individuality. Some children who have been in foster care may be bullied for not having the “normal” mom or dad and can feel self conscious or have low self-confidence because of their “different” experiences. They may be teased, ridiculed, or picked on. It can be even more difficult for an adoptee who is also gay, lesbian, transgender, or a different race from their adoptive parents. More so than not, the main reason a child allows themselves to be bullied or even bully their peers is because of low self esteem or underestimation of their “value”. It is even more vital that parents of these adopted children be active in their child’s life, talk to them about bullying and encourage them to not be afraid of reporting this behavior.

Help your adopted children understand and value their individuality. Do not underestimate the power of a parent’s influence and talk to you child about bullying. Whether you suspect your child is being bullied, or may even be the bully, the same lessons should be passed on. Try to remind them of their value and distinctiveness and make them aware of the consequences of his or her actions and words. Be engaged and make sure you are aware of the anti-bullying policy set forth by your child’s school. Since you cannot be two places at once, try to take preventative measures at home and at school. Though you may be giving your child all your support at home, school is still the place where bullying may occur. We here at the National Adoption Center believe that by talking to your children, giving them the tools to help them from being bullied, and being engaged with your child’s school about anti-bullying you can help put a stop to this odious behavior.