Our Holiday Wish

Holiday tunes bounce along nearly every airwave. Snowstorms have crippled our airports and thanks to freezing temps from Florida to the Dakotas, people are shivering! We have nearly turned the page of 2010 and find ourselves smack dab in the season of The Holidays! Hope, joy, light and delight permeate big and small screens with the magic of family—whether depicted through wonderful lives, bee-bee gun dreams, miracles on 34th street or a snowman who moves over the hills of snow!

It’s festive at the National Adoption Center these days. Some of our most dedicated corporate partners have collected personalized (long!) gift wish lists for the children on our adoption coordinators caseloads. Multiple gifts for each child were then purchased, wrapped and delivered to our offices at the ready for our coordinators to load their cars and deliver this bounty to children who are incredibly appreciative. And worthy of mention is that these corporations, with their broad vision and heart, do this every year!

Surrounded by generous people who embody the message of hope we at the Adoption Center experience this season of giving most directly. I can only imagine that throughout small and large cities the world around, similar loving gestures abound. While many charities help homeless families or those in economic hardship, the children who receive presents, though needy, are blessed to have their family. It’s not that kids in foster care are forgotten. But it’s a whole different story to be waiting for gifts than it is to be waiting for a family.

I am not suggesting that kids in foster care don’t have happy holidays. Gestures of those aware that this population is underserved give generously which most definitely makes a difference. And many loving foster parents and caring directors of foster group homes extend themselves to bring the children in their care happy holidays, happy birthdays, and wonderful lives.

But think about it. Kids are kids. Kids who live in foster homes just want to be like other kids: to receive gifts or observe traditions for Hanukkah, or Christmas, and/or Kwanza with their family. To be honored during a time when a good part of the world celebrates each other and the importance of family.

Our website (under the Video Center) hosts a 30 second “must see” message. It features a girl who wants a bike, a boy who wants a new video game, but the soulful message of one youth, in particular, is haunting: “Me? I just want a family.” Look into this boy’s eyes and catch the real meaning: this is not just a seasonal longing. This is an everyday dream.

What can be done to fulfill this “other” wish list of waiting children? The one not verbalized or written down. Or able to be contained in a gift box topped with a bow. Consider what the holiday season of 2011 will look like if, from this moment, more people have the vision to adopt and follow through. I bet that next year extra places would need to be set at holiday feast tables and more people would play Dreidel or read “The Night Before Christmas” together. Perhaps more sibling groups would be adopted, allowing more brothers and sisters to grow up together. If more people would offer something that has eluded waiting children—their very own place in a permanent, caring home—that everyday dream you saw in the eyes of that child in the video would become reality.

We know there are lots of newly formed adoptive families since this time last year. Congratulations! Give Frosty some company and dance through this season! In line with that famous song, find a meadow and build a snowman or a beach and build a sandman, or do whatever will make lasting family memories and create traditions for the next generations.

My wish: more people will choose the option of adoption. That by this time next year many more (at-this-moment) “unfound families” will find their very wanted child who will, by this time next year, finally “dream by the fire, to face unafraid, the plans that they made…” …together as family!

Wednesday's Child Featured Child: Carlos

13 year old Carlos has a passion for football. This teen loves to play and is a great player for his local school team. Carlos also enjoys watching wrestling, reading books, and helping others. In the 7th grade, he does good in school and gets along well with his teachers and peers. Carlos can be shy and reserved when first meeting new people, but will soon open up after he feels safe and comfortable.

Because Carlos has dreams of playing professional football when he grows up, he met up with Wednesday’s Child host Vai Sikahema at University of Delaware-Blue Hens football for a look into how to actually get there. The two met with defensive lineman Siddiq Haynes. Siddiq took the two on a tour of the athletics dept., field, and finally into the weight room. On the field, the trio couldn’t help but throw balls around. Carlos was able to show Vai and Siddiq his skills. They then rang the team’s touchdown bell, which was VERY loud. “The weight room was fun”, said Carlos. Siddiq showed him some of the equipment and tested his strength on several of them.

Overall, the day was a great success! Vai sat with Carlos during lunch to talk about family. Carlos says family is important. He would like a family that would allow him to play sports and stay active. Contact with his sibling is important to him. Carlos needs a loving and caring family that will show support at his football games. At this point in his life, he dreams of not only scoring for his team, but scoring with a family! Will you be that family for Carlos?

Wednesday’s Child Philadelphia Spotlight - Aaliyah

Meet 12-year-old Aaliyah. This beautiful preteen can be described as fun, loving, and energetic.  Aaliyah likes to draw, jump rope, and dance. In the 6th grade, she does well in school and really enjoys art class.  In the future she would like to become a doctor or nurse so she can help others.        

Aaliyah recently met up with Wednesday’s Child host Vai Sikahema at Philadelphia’s Please Touch Museum for a day of fun and excitement.  Aaliyah had a great time pretending to be Vai’s doctor.  They did grocery shopping and toured the SEPTA portion of the museum. They played the large  piano and overall simply had a great time. 

The day was definitely a success!  Vai later sat with Aaliyah at the cafeteria where they shared a meal and spoke about family.  Aaliyah says race does not matter.  She wants a family that will love her, play with her, and encourage her dreams for the future. 

Will you be that family for Aaliyah?

Philadelphia Chamber of Commerce’s Excellence Award

Chris Jacobs, Program Director, Ken Mullner, Executive Director and Gloria Hochman, Communications Director

I really enjoyed myself at the Philadelphia Chamber of Commerce’s Excellence awards dinner dance on November 18 at the Hyatt Regency Hotel in Center City. The Center was honored as the non-profit of the year. We received our award, along with 11 small businesses recognized for their excellence, before 600 community leaders. We were the lone non-profit among a sea of for profit businesses. It was an interesting experience. The group of professionals we were celebrating with was all very different. For example, some included Center City restaurant owners, sellers of motorcycle parts, as well as technology innovators. At first I couldn’t understand what, if any, similarities our organization had with these other small businesses. Then I started listening to their stories.

Each group was being recognized for their creativity, vitality, stability and relevance. And what I realized was that we had a lot more in common than I originally thought. Each business began with a dream – ours was no different. NAC’s founder started in 1972 with a wooden recipe box on her kitchen table because she saw a need and wanted to fill it. Thirty eight years later, we have helped more than 22,000 children find their “forever families”.

Although our organization was the only one providing a social service to the region and beyond, we all had some things in common - a dream, flexibility to stay relevant and adjust to better serve our constituents and a drive and desire to be successful. “We are proud to have received this prestigious recognition,” says Ken Mullner, the Center’s executive director. “But there are still children—115,000 in the country and 1600 right here in the Delaware Valley—who count on us for their futures. We are committed to our belief that ‘there are no unwanted children…just unfound families.’ We will continue to find them.”

Defining Adoption Competency: Please tell C.A.S.E. what you think!

We would like to invite you to become part of a very important initiative.

Since 2008, Center for Adoption Support and Education (C.A.S.E.) has provided national leadership to a project to answer the call of the adoption community to build accessible, adoption competent mental health services across the country.

As a first step, C.A.S.E. convened a group of nationally recognized experts, including parents, who identified the competencies that mental health practitioners need – the knowledge, skills, and values that they should have. These experts helped to develop a definition of an adoption competent mental health professional.  A curriculum based on the competencies has been developed and the first group of mental health professionals is completing their training to be adoption competent in their clinical practices. 

Adoptive parents consistently report that their greatest post adoption support need is “mental health services provided by someone who knows adoption." We often hear parents, adopted persons, practitioners, and researchers say that services need to be “adoption competent” or “adoption sensitive.” Although the terms “adoption competent” and “adoption sensitive” are frequently used, there are not standardized, well-accepted definitions for these terms.

The definition that we are currently using is based on what experts think, but we want to hear from you about whether this definition is the right one.

If you are an adoptive parent, an adopted person, a birth parent, a member of an adoptive family, or a member of a family affected by adoption, please tell us what you think an "adoption competent mental health professional" is. Click here to take survey

Thanks to a Special Sponsor - Wendy's

The National Adoption Center relies on contributions from the public and private sector to do its critically important work.  One of our best partners is Wendy’s. Following in Dave Thomas’ tradition, this month Wendy’s not only continues its customary fundraising efforts but also gathers it employees to conduct a holiday gift drive for kids in foster care in the tri-state Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Delaware region. So many children and youth will have a brighter holiday season thanks to generous partners like Wendy’s. We hope you will frequent them this month and throughout the year, and thank them for their generous support.